The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

let's start by saying this was not an easy journey getting to this mental state of mind it was very difficult there has been a number of times I felt like throwing in the towel giving in to my feelings and emotions ready to take my own life because my mind was filled with failures and hopelessness especially growing up in religion surround by religious people who preached don't sin unaware of the fact that this is not the full Kingdom message matter fact that's not what the gospel was created for. The Bible states that there is no perfect person on this earth no not one (Philippians 3 :12-15) that's why God came in the flesh to become the example of faith through living out Godly character filled with mercy and grace. Growing up time and time again the experience was like an uphill battle good one day bad the next it got to the point to where I just said to hell with it, I'll never be good, so I went zero dark 30 for a min living a life of rebellion till one late night driving in the hills of Altadena with a couple of friends is my life changed. At that moment my reality stood at a standstill while dropping off a friend my body got paralyzed with fear out of nowhere several cop cars pulled up behind me with guns drawn with doors swung open and a voice on the PA telling me to turn the car off and put my hands out of the window. While trying to dispose the weed I had I was a little nervous not knowing what's going on the police ask each individual to step out the car and walk backwards to the voice slowly. So, as I'm walking backwards toward the voice slowly, I couldn't help but think of my mother begging me to not go out that night because she had a bad feeling but do to my heartless behavior, I ignored the warning signs and proceeded to follow fun which led me in front of the barrel of a gun. now as I approached the vehicle, I was very abruptly hand cuffed and thrown in back of the cop car thinking "man I guess I finale made it in the back of one of these vehicles" still not knowing why. They even had the bird out which in street terms is the helicopter any way so as I'm sitting in the back of the vehicle I ask the officer excuse me sir but what is the reason for my arrest and he stated that we had received a call of a 211 in progress which is armed robbery I was shocked and takin back I thought I might get a ticket for having a little weed and it turned out to be something more intense. Meanwhile as I'm sitting in the back seat my thoughts are arm robbery. Man, I didn't steal from anyone then the door swung open, and they pulled me out and shined a bright light on me so that the victims could get a good look at me on a dark street "Right" anyway boom positive I.D with and little persuasion on the lady passenger and there you have it recipe for disaster they had enough evidence to keep me and my other friend who was riding with me. So now my has change within a split second now I'm on trial for a crime I didn't commit and thinking to myself I just was hanging out with friends now I'm fighting for my life the D.E.A was trying to give me 25 years to life for robbery with a gun mind you there was no gun found but they scared the other passenger some much she told them whatever they wanted to hear so she would be free she stated we threw something out the window but that was the weed. Anyway so what seemed to be the worst experience of my life turned out to become the birth of the new life I now live see I was heading down a road of self-destruction till God allowed me to experience the unexperienced I all ways had the thoughts in my head to robe someone but never actually did it but I was willing and I always had a gun on me but that night I got in a big argument with my girlfriend at the time over not taking it out and she also had a bad feeling so I left her without the gun that night thank God. So as I'm getting processed into the system I go through the experience of slavery I don't think many talk about when your processed in to the system you are no longer free and they make that well know you are first told to strip naked no matter who's there or looking then thrown in the cold shower and then they hand you used clothes wash probably yesterday all the way down to your draws terrible experience that no human should experience after that the mental journey begins and a mental journey it was once the cell doors closed behind me I stood there in the cell with one thought on my mind "ok God you have my attention" but no words just silence in the cell with active duty guards outside my door on the job. So, I started doing pushups and dips set after set till I was so tired I fell asleep when I fell asleep, I dreamed I was outside free it felt so real till I was slap with the reality that I was living the nightmare when I awoke. This started the stressing phase. Let me tell you man was not created to be locked up it's not humane. A human goes through a series of mental break down especially when you are there for the no reason. So, as I started stressing pretty badly you become so broken. I could see if I did something I would except my punishment and do my time but I was there on a mistake of identity BUT God had a plan for my life that had to play out, it was time for me to know who's I am and what I am, and this is where the story begins. So, after I cried to the point, I couldn't cry any more it was time for this young man to man up and stand but it didn't come without a price wave after wave of information telling me I'm not going home was beating me mentally go to court my friend found guilty to be tried as a juvenile and I was found fit to be tried as an adult facing 25 years. That was an experience that doesn't sit very lightly on my soul. Thats when it happened after that court date out on the yard, I had a moment with God I'll never forget. This moment I'll keep with me till the day I die this was my first experience of the supernatural presence in this world for a moment in time I feel into a deep sleep because I couldn't move. Now facing charges that can take a good portion of my life I was paralyzed mentally but God meet my soul in a dream and in this dream I seen myself standing in the middle of a transparent hand and a soft word spoke to me saying "I have you in my hands no weapon formed against you shall prosper" then I was on the floor surround by believers interceding in prayer around me then I looked up out of my rest and noticed an abnormal bird coming out of nowhere white as snow and was far from the other birds it was isolated from the rest which made it very unusual to see as I paid close attention to this bird I couldn't help but recognize the words that was presented on the wall right above it sharing a scripture that read "all things are possible through CHRIST' (Matthew 19:26) and this is where the E.M.T Barber was born. As I read those words a fire arose in side of me a will to fight like no other at that moment it was nothing this world could throw at me that was going to separate me from the truth that I am loved by a real living God who is personal in every way as the fire of the Holy Spirit consumed my soul I was what the young people call today lit yes indeed I was on fire every word that came out of my mouth had something to do about the truth and 21 people including a guard developed a relationship with God I was astonished on what was taking place then I had a gift that was presenting it self to me that I never thought I had it was always in my mind to rap for the gospel of truth to those who are in the mind set I was under before I got there and my desire was to share the experience I experienced now that my mind and soul has received real love that only God can give that Love which cannot be explained only experienced I found out what it is to be loved by a real love that's not solely dependent on physical feelings and emotions it's a love unexplainable. The full foundation of truth is just that love unconditional in the mist of what the world would deem tragic God see as a masterpiece to a master play for the world today. The bible says that a man plans his way, but the lord dictates his steps (Proverbs 16:9). I had a plan to live life my way until the Lord step in to activate his plan for my life and in this I fell in Love with Love starting the journey you now see today. No matter how many people pointed the finger at me I still wasn't going to let go of the love affair I have with the truth no matter how many bad habits I had developed I was not going to let it take from me the understanding of who God is and no matter how bad I bashed myself for listening to all the word of how terrible I am and how I can continue to love God in the state I'm in I was determined to not let go. Through the good the bad and the ugly I would keep pushing till I take my finale breath. This is the heart of a true Believer a person that humbles his self and eliminates pride excepting his faults and continuing to move on knowing God will knock off all the imperfections of mankind to create what you are witnessing today. As time goes on falling deeper in Love with the truth who is God, I find myself renewed revised and recharged to be a witness that God is faithful and true to his word that's why you already can imagine the outcome to this story at the end we WIN it truly is a race slow and steady precept upon precept faith upon faith and this is the pace. Keep moving forward saints don't let your sins stop you from continuing to pursue God and run your race. When you don't stop standing for Righteous living led by unconditional Love expressed four ways through Gods display of Agape Love the message God lived is The KINGDOM CHARATER at hand. Amen!!!